the last misty December.

Just counting days, the new year will come. 

I am here dunno should be happy or not.

This year is very different than two years ago or at least one year ago.

2 years ago, i am very happy i can prepared everything to celebrate new year holidays with him.

New year 2 years ago had become opium for me. The feeling. When i'm with him.

On december 26th, i supposed to be preparing everything to go to jakarta to pass through a holiday and the new year eve with him. But this year? that all no longer exist.

No jakarta or him.

This year there were only me a-l-o-n-e.

Wait, i forgot ...

Two years ago. actually, we were never celebrate new year eve together. When we were in relationship, you pass new year eve with your family. Do you remember? we in the same city and in the afternoon we still together. But we never got through new years eve together. And last year. When we had broke up, you are celebrating the new year with your friend and your family. while I celebrated with kak jidi and her friends. Although in the afternoon we are together. yes, we're still going to pim like previous years. The difference, there no more XXI, and eating crepes.

Going through old memories brings back old feelings. Too many feelings to even begin to understand whats going on, or how to feel, or what to think. It’s like you spent the last 1year pretending to be numb but now your crying because you know you can still feel it, but you don’t want to. But no, I do. I do? You’re an egotistical stubbern asshole

but
everything about you is beautifully etched in my mind, body, soul, HEART.

so long i was tried to fix everything.

so long i was ingulf raw my ego.

But what i got? nothing. Did you return? no.

I know exactly, i was made him can't stay and surrender.

And i know 

there're no guarantees, someone would come back again after we broken they heart so deep. Eventhough they were still(exceedingly)love.

Happy new year, everyone. I hope our personal would be better in the future.

no more pain, no more heartache and dissappoinment. 

New year, new day, new record, new story, new life, and maybe new love. 

Goodbye 2012, Welcome 2013, please be amazing year.
xxx

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thinking before speaking

today, one of my classmate cursed to my other friend because she wasn't given the answer when we had Arabic exam. although she always like that to me. how pathetic, what a shame!

I was raised to treat others the way I’d want to be treated. Growing up, I learned that not everyone is going to like you. But, not everyone will hate you either. Not everyone does this… but honestly, I feel as though there’s plenty of people in this world who don’t understand the true effect they may have on the things they say. In terms of ‘thinking-before-speaking,’ I believe that that is something we all barely acknowledge. Whenever you have something to criticize someone about. Whenever you have something to hate on someone about. Whatever it is that you have to say about any other person… Shouldn’t be said at all, unless you have something “nice” to say about them. I quoted the word ‘nice’ because, nice could be something totally positive, or something at least to show that you’re not putting someone down. What’s wrong these days is… people do not have enough decency to respect others. NOT ENOUGH. Whether they know them. Or whether they think they know them. No matter who they are.. they should not be the root of your hatred, jealousy, bitterness, or dissatisfaction. Because honestly, you have NO IDEA if what simple statement you may have to say, can hurt someone else so badly. Maybe it may be a little nothing to you.. but certainly, you may never know how someone else will perceive it. All that stupid, ridiculous talk you might have about someone is unnecessary. Leave all your insignificant comments to yourself. If I’ve learned anything about life, its that, nobody will be perfect.

But at least, if we all tried to show each other that we all have some respect for one another, maybe there’d be less people taking their own lives.

Less people hurting because of what others’ opinions have clouded in their minds. Less people feeling engulfed in a life that they no longer desire to posses. Just because of some kind of negative comment or insult they may have received. I think we all deserve to be treated right. I think we all deserve to love the life we have. But to some extent, we all need to quit the judging. Discriminating. The hate and spite. The grudges and the envy.  Because honestly, I don’t believe we take other’s feelings into consideration as much as we do of our own. And that’s so disgraceful to realize… That a great majority of our society portrays to be this way and we don’t do anything to change that. It’s repulsive. Well in my opinion it is.

why we don't treat people like we want to be treated? Stop saying you hate people or me (hehe), because you are only putting unnescesary negativity on yourself. Focus on yourself. Don’t mind people if they give off negative vibes. If you want people to change, you have to change also ;)

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